needed | Life in the Can

see, it simply needed another leg to attach to the wall

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:06:55 -0400

hoping it ends well

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 11:11:29 -0500

elliot and i tried to get his car into shape, only to have me botch the operation.

i really let him down. we needed extra weight on our car when we checked in. i added it to the bottom of the car. huge mistake without checking ground clearance.

ever so slightly the weight rubbed the top of every screw that held the track parts together.

needless to say this doesn't bode well for a vehicle depending on gravity and lack of friction reach the finish line.

next year we'll rock'em.

Tags: car weight needless say bode

Uncut: Session C for Episode 6

Fri, 15 Aug 2008 09:29:53 -0400

LitC Session C Ep 6 - download
For Episode: 6
Length: 28:34
Size: 19.6 mb
Format: mp3

Betsy's on Facebook
I'll get more friends than all you people
So come over and friend up
I also signed up for LinkedIn
Yeah, hilarious, LinkedIn is for people jobs
The IT actress
That is perfect for you
Where are all the unemployed people?
Facebook
That's where I need to be
There are people on here that I haven't talk to in years
Not since they told me they had crabs
It would be so much funnier if it wasn't true
How can you start friending old boy friends right away?
I'm not sure most people lived our lives
Not when they were 18-21
I found my neighbor
You are creeping me out
I've done open mic night . . . twice
Throw that at your old neighbor
My running gig where I pay to perform
Like your sex life would be without me
Sure I can do that for you uncle Jeb
Just don't touch me
That would make me gay
Uncomfortable situations in an El Camino
Especially in you hot pants
Fix the vinyl with duct tape
Did you never have vinyl seats
There were classy
Leather seats made from flesh
The two-seater that teens would like
I could have ended up with your dad
Just don't touch me
I'm totally Facebook addicted
It's like a bar for old people
I love it
You should have explained it to you as that
Like a lion in the grass
I don't really use Facebook that much
Counting the crab havers
Your boyfriends were all dirty and gross
Kris, use conditioners
Rest, clean up with Rid
You are there crazy chicks
I know that goatee is going to come rolling up someday
I didn't try to attack any girl
Your mom took it as I was trying to rape somebody
You're a bad wife friending the crab man
If you want to go truck stop to truck stop to find your old flames
Go ahead
My first love needed a body guard
Evidently the rumor of my seedy friends got around
Small town living
Crazy hair and using no conditioner
My mom was so right
Listen here hay head
All my ex'es are hiding
Hey man, what happened to you
That's not what I heard, man
My unsavory friends
I will take a VD case cured with an OTC before 9mm on the table
There's money to be made off of those people
What's the real story?
He said that I was committed for 3 years
Uh, no
Maybe that is why they all run
I was getting my shit together
All my friends, not one, have it together
When you look for friends, it's to see who's alive
He's scary
The guy you end up in the front seat with
Having a bowling alley at their home
That will screw up your kids
They are fucked
The karmic bite in the ass
You watch television
You're cut off, go get a job
That kind of commerce can only get you so far
Time to take a vacation
I don't know how you got in
Right high school and a priest helped me
A priest did you a favor? Don't ever tell anyone that
This isn't working me anymore
I'm going to roll out
Your tomato garden isn't shit
I paid for your robe
He got double helpings at dinner
I was accepted to college during my junior year
So I could blow off my senior year
Never had problems before that
Finding your jewish husband
I bet they have real butter here
This is a nice school
Your mom didn't grow up poor either
Where is that guy now?
Jobless
Take that baby
I'm so lucky to have you
I see some sparks flying
Not jewish, no trust fund
How did I end up with you?
Everybody gets unemployed some times
Tomorrow he'll be on Facebook with you
Somebody is west chicago hates you!
No, you got me almost
It's some guy in Ghana
The expats walking around
Cool to be an expat
I picked a random country
The guy was talking about the kids outside
Playing with a tin can and kicking a dead monkey
OK, uncle Jeb
Not enough monkey in his life
Concern over the international thing
People don't move to the Bahamas for the schools

Who are we? "We" are Kris Smith and Betsy Smith, no relation, and Croncast was our first podcast. From Nov. 2004 to June of 2008 we created 500 thirty-minute episodes, all freely available at www.croncast.com.

Tags: jewish husband facebook truck stops linkedin expat

Uncut: Session B for Episode 6

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 09:09:18 -0400

LitC Session B Ep 6 - download
For Episode: 6
Length: 16:21
Size: 11.2 mb
Format: mp3

Short show today
No were not at the Croncast any longer
But the shows are still there
The keys to the house
Your analogies make no sense
Life in the Can is our new abode
I have something exciting
Don't even show your sister
So I told the secret
Telling your pocket lint what to do
I needed a box of Brio tracks, bad
I got to Goodwill and there they were
Yes, but in someone else's cart
He's 12 or 13, however old you are when you first get a job
There in front of me was a Husqvarna
What the hell is a husqvarna?
I remembered my friend telling me about them
They're expensive sewing machines
I was able to pick it up for $39
Now those are Betsy's margins
Worse with the money
Support groups for people like you
I've been putting the same dollar in the slot since 1999

Who are we? "We" are Kris Smith and Betsy Smith, no relation, and Croncast was our first podcast. From Nov. 2004 to June of 2008 we created 500 thirty-minute episodes, all freely available at www.croncast.com.

Tags: Husqvarna sewing machine Croncast Brio tracks Bernina

Uncut: Session C for Episode 2

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 09:00:00 -0400

Life in the Can Ep 2 - litc-ses-c-ep-2-2008-07-18.mp3
For Episode: 2
Length: 33:26
Size: 23.0mb
Format: mp3

I'm Kris and she's Betsy
When we last left you
Betsy just vomited on a palmetto bug
As my head hit the pillow
He has the junk gene
The game face too
Prop up something with a cinder block
I woke hungover, well a bit drunk
Nothing stronger than a Marlboro Light to garage sale with
You lack the common sense to be a successful thrifter, Kris
The junk you grew up around
Not valuable to anyone
Did they pick up junk where you lived?
Taking nothing bigger than a bread box
The steel drum was your garbage can?
Sorry, didn't realize you were the Ewings
You lived a donkey kong life
It was like riding a lawn mower with two wheels
The feral cat problem brought ingenuity
Quikrete cat trap
Don't worry about pale and pudgy
You care nothing for your Mikasa garage sale set
I needed salt
Kris, it was disgusting
Nothing wrong with ordering extra ham in my omelet
And then adding a side of ham
Mark suggested ham juice
The meetup was awesome
Very low key, normal folks
You, you, with the eye contact
Catch your own live fish
Go to the bathroom now
Where we are going the bathroom is nasty
You'll have to hover at this joint
Instantly I have to pee
We're going to the Clermont Lounge
What's that?
A strip club
I don't think I am supposed to go with you, Kris
It's a hospitality issue
The Clermont is an Atlanta landmark
Blondy, she can crush beer cans with her tits, she's over 60
Oh, grandma snatch . . . I am so there
And then comes in a grandma
Not Blondy
Kris, I think it is your birthday
No, no, no, no, no
Carol slides her a $20
You looked so uncomfortable
It hurt
She begins her twisted dance of nothingness
All she had was hip slapping and nudity
Get her the denture cream
She starts to walk away
Turns quickly
Puts her leg on table
Other one in my chair
Pulls up her skirt, "Bam, Peach Cobbler"
I've seen it all
Grandma stripper, check

Who are we? "We" are Kris Smith and Betsy Smith, no relation, and Croncast was our first podcast. From Nov. 2004 to June of 2008 we created 500 thirty-minute episodes, all freely available at www.croncast.com.

Tags: Clermont Lounge Atlanta Peach Cobbler feral cats thrifting

dear georgia bunny

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:29:31 -0400

in front of my laptop at the @timeshifted's was this bunny. they are after me and this proves it.

this one too, needed it's photo taken. mark and carol have so much amazing art around their house. everywhere you look there is something that catches the eye.

Tags: bunny art amazing house carol

@timeshifted got some tall ass trees

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:11:24 -0400

we reached our destination at mark and carol's and needed to sit down for a drink.

Tags: carol needed sit drink mark

boxed letters

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 17:19:23 -0400

simple wooden letters in a box but effective when needed to label exhibits back in the day.

Tags: letters label exhibits day needed

Four years and 80 lbs ago

Thu, 22 Nov 2007 13:22:56 -0500

Needed a test image for a script. I had to get on computer today!

This is from Lincoln Park Zoo Christmas of 2003 night of lights.

Tags: park lincoln zoo christmas lights